Sit next to them
On first dates im the creepy guy who would say “let’s sit on the same side while at a restaurant or coffee shop. I’m pretty sure this creeped out a lot of women but when it worked, it worked.
When sitting across from each other, there is a sense of “opposition”, me vs. you. The “head-to-head” dynamic never bodes well for two who want to build a better connection. All I see is you, and all you see is me. Interviews, reprimands from parents, sobriety tests, being served a subpoena, all are direct and head to head. In combat, I can punch you or kick you easily while toe-to-toe. that position makes one more defensive and ready to either block an attack or formulate their own attack. I would have an easier time defending myself if we were standing side by side, less of a threat.
Sitting side-by-side allows both involved to see the same things, the same perspective on the same object. Soldiers fight for their country side-by-side, architects look at the same planning problems on the same side of the table, defendant and his attorney are standing side-by-side as they battle in court. You attack the situation together, it breeds “togetherness.” What you’re saying on the first date, biz meeting, mentoring session is that we are “together” in this. It makes the other person feel like they are bought into, more important, exclusive. When we make others feel good we end up closer to our desired result.
Park benches, couches, cars, resturaunt booths, try to get the most important seat in the building, and thats the one next to them. Let’s win big.
Let’s get 1% better everyday.
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